I have been thinking about this for a few days, then today when I logged on there was a blog from Haley Whitehall on Contingency Plans and I knew that I had to get on here and have a rant.
Writing for me is currently a hobby, something I do after hours when my husband is on night shift and the kids are in bed (like they are right now). Of course I want it to be more than that but there is always that nagging in the back of my mind… what if I am just not good enough?
Soon I am going to have a decision to make. Next year my daughter will be starting school and my son will be going to preschool one day a week, so that will give me a whole day (well six hours anyway) just for me! Of course the pressure will be on to head back to work, but back to what? I am in my early thirties and I find myself having a ‘what do I want to be when I grow up’ moment.
The obvious answer is that I want to write, but as Haley pointed out in her post the probability of being able to draw a reasonable income as a writer is approaching zero.
Option number two is going back to my roots and heading back to the lab… oh yes that’s right, for those of you that don’t know I am a Chemist (not a pharmacist but a chemist!). I am sure that working in the lab must be like riding a bike, you never forget, or maybe you do.
I could head back to the University and pick up a position as a casual teacher taking labs for first year chemistry students, mind numbing work, but the pay per brain cell required is actually quite reasonable. But this doesn’t provide for much of an exciting career path.
Or I could even make use of my as yet unused Diploma of Education and head off to one of the local high schools as a Science teacher.
But the fact is, all I want to do is write.
Being traditionally from the ‘sciences’ rather than the ‘arts’ I am used to the ‘if you work hard enough at it you can get there’ mantra. The problem with the arts is that hard work is not enough on its own, you also need talent.
So as I mentioned earlier I am at a point where I need to make a decision. Whether or not I am going to commit myself to travelling down the road to try my hand as a writer; to spend money and attend courses; to put myself through the heartache of rejections; to write and submit short stories with the hope of getting something published as a stepping stone.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated..
The Exasperated Novelist