Heard the saying Men are from Mars, women are from Venus? Well, not my kids, those two planets are too close together, you would expect some cross-over, perhaps some similarity in traits between the Martians and the Venetians – my kids are complete polar opposites.
I still can vividly remember the shock when I discovered my second born was a boy. The entire pregnancy everyone (including myself) assumed it would be a girl (we never officially found out it was just a gut feeling). After a brutal child birth (let’s face it when is child birth not brutal) a small child is placed onto my chest, all muck covered and crying – naturally in this burst of emotion the first thing I say is “Well what is it?” noone responds, apparently they didn’t bother to check. So I lift the baby up and low and behold there are bits dangling there between his legs “Oh my god it has tackle – IT’S A BOY!”
Being from a family of all girls (i only have one male cousin) I have no experience with boys – can they really be all that different from girls? In my family we played barbies and put on dance concerts and sang every song from our favourite musicals when we went on road-trips, but then again we were all girls. Surely all that talk about boys being rough and tumble and girls being prissy and into dress-ups is because they are raised to believe that those are their gender roles, instilled upon them by their parents – if I didn’t set up those expectations then where could they come from?
Yeah right! Boy was I naive.
From the moment my kids exited the womb they have had their own, very defined, personalities. My daughter is into dolls and dress-ups and will delicately paint pretend make-up on anyone that will sit still. My son would rather drive a truck straight into a wall. This isn’t because we have pushed them into any particular gender roles, for some reason my son has just loved anything with wheels from the time he was born.
Not only is Son rough, he is soooo much stronger than Daughter, I would insert at the same age here but I don’t think I need to, despite the 2 year age gap between them Son is already stronger than she is (helps that he builds up his muscles by regularly throwing toys at people’s heads!)
And stubborness, oh my lord. I didn’t know the meaning of the word stubborn until Son came along. Son is still stuck in the terrible twos (i think he is going to be there until he is fifteen!) but discipline is almost impossible when he refuses to give in and apologise – he will happily sit in time-out for hours instead of giving in and saying sorry – in the end most of the time I have to give in and let him out because by then we are running late to whereever it is that we are going. Daughter was never like that – 5 minutes in time-out and she was (still is actually) apologising through her tears.
Son is also a complete class clown, I don’t know if this can be attributed to the fact that he is a boy or the fact that he second born and is constantly being cheered on by his big sister. There is no self-preservation gene – if jumping from the lounge and landing on his head will get a laugh then he will go ahead and try it, tears may ensue but once they have dried-up it is well worth another attempt!
What about you? Do you find there are vast differences between your kids? Can these differences be attributed to differences in sex or are all kids just different? Love to hear your thoughts.