Friday Free-For-All – If Girls are from Venus, Boys are from Pluto!

Heard the saying Men are from  Mars, women are from Venus? Well, not my kids, those two planets are too close together, you would expect some cross-over, perhaps some similarity in traits between the Martians and the Venetians – my kids are complete polar opposites.

I still can vividly remember the shock when I discovered my second born was a boy. The entire pregnancy everyone (including myself) assumed it would be a girl (we never officially found out it was just a gut feeling). After a brutal child birth (let’s face it when is child birth not brutal) a small child is placed onto my chest, all muck covered and crying – naturally in this burst of emotion the first thing I say is “Well what is it?” noone responds, apparently they didn’t bother to check. So I lift the baby up and low and behold there are bits dangling there between his legs “Oh my god it has tackle – IT’S A BOY!”

Being from a family of all girls (i only have one male cousin) I have no experience with boys – can they really be all that different from girls? In my family we played barbies and put on dance concerts and sang every song from our favourite musicals when we went on road-trips, but then again we were all girls. Surely all that talk about boys being rough and tumble and girls being prissy and into dress-ups is because they are raised to believe that those are their gender roles, instilled upon them by their parents – if I didn’t set up those expectations then where could they come from?

Yeah right! Boy was I naive.

From the moment my kids exited the womb they have had their own, very defined, personalities. My daughter is into dolls and dress-ups and will delicately paint pretend make-up on anyone that will sit still. My son would rather drive a truck straight into a wall. This isn’t because we have pushed them into any particular gender roles, for some reason my son has just loved anything with wheels from the time he was born. 

Not only is Son rough, he is soooo much stronger than Daughter, I would insert at the same age here but I don’t think I need to, despite the 2 year age gap between them Son is already stronger than she is (helps that he builds up his muscles by regularly throwing toys at people’s heads!)

And stubborness, oh my lord. I didn’t know the meaning of the word stubborn until Son came along. Son is still stuck in the terrible twos (i think he is going to be there until he is fifteen!) but discipline is almost impossible when he refuses to give in and apologise – he will happily sit in time-out for hours instead of giving in and saying sorry – in the end most of the time I have to give in and let him out because by then we are running late to whereever it is that we are going. Daughter was never like that – 5 minutes in time-out and she was (still is actually) apologising through her tears.

Son is also a complete class clown, I don’t know if this can be attributed to the fact that he is a boy or the fact that he second born and is constantly being cheered on by his big sister. There is no self-preservation gene  – if jumping from the lounge and landing on his head will get a laugh then he will go ahead and try it, tears may ensue but once they have dried-up it is well worth another attempt!

What about you? Do you find there are vast differences between your kids? Can these differences be attributed to differences in sex or are all kids just different? Love to hear your thoughts.

Jody Moller

5 responses to “Friday Free-For-All – If Girls are from Venus, Boys are from Pluto!

  1. Firstly, your kids are gorgeous.

    Secondly, I honestly think that all kids are different. My two boys are as different as chalk and cheese (even though the youngest can’t even talk yet). I think part of that is due to birth-order, and part is just due to innate personality.

    But… I do think there’s a difference between boys and girls as well, and not just because of defined gender roles. From the time boys and girls realise that there’s a difference between… well, boys and girls, they start trying to emulate the members of their own gender that they come across (whether in real life, or in stories/TV), so there’s that. But I also think boys are just more drawn to jumping off things and smashing things together. I am constantly surprised at how much enjoyment my 4yo son gets from running, breaking things, jumping off rocks, climbing trees, etc. For him, the best part of building towers with blocks is the part where you get to throw things at the tower unti it falls over. While I don’t have my own girl to compare this behaviour with, it doesn’t seem to be the norm for the “fairer sex”.

  2. My two are night and day. My son is 6 and my daughter is 5 (they’re 17 mos apart in age). So you would think they would be more alike but they aren’t. They came the way they are, nobody defined them either. I was determined to raise a calm boy and a strong girl. I thought they would defy the stereotypes but they don’t.

    My son has never been a sleeper, he is energetic, he loves karate chopping or light sabering or wand waving at everything and everyone in the house. He is loud! He is very logical, academic and mathematical.

    My daughter loves her sleep, she dances and dresses up and adores pink. She is a drama mama, loves to have people gush over her. She adores shopping for clothes and shoes. She lives in a dream world, is artistic and creative.

    They even look very different, one is fair and the other dark.

  3. I’ve got three, two boys and one girl. They’re all different. Instead of the boy/girl thing, I think it’s more the birth order issue with them. The eldest, though he is working on it, makes loving suggestions sound like orders from a drill sergeant. The youngest (and I’m the third of three children, so I can say this) needs assurances of worth and wants to know what’s going on in everyone’s life so she won’t miss out on anything. The second born/middle child goes with the flow. I don’t think he feels lost in the craziness, but he is the quiet, thoughtful type most of the time. Sh, don’t tell, but I call him the eye in the middle of my hurricane. An insult to the other two? Nah, I don’t think so ‘cuz they’re both like me in many ways. J is very much like his dad, easygoing, think before you speak, that kind of thing. So, sometimes it’s gender. Sometimes not so much. My daughter/the baby was never a girly girl. On the other hand, I’ve asked my sons to “bond” where I don’t have to watch. Male bonding, now that’s craziness.
    All the best on your ROW80 goals, by the way.

  4. My son and daughter are so different – some of it I think is due to copying the role models, but I think boys are different to girls. Although the son did copy the daughter’s ballet moves when he was little – hoped I had a wee Nureyev on my hands but alas – the train set took over and that was the end of Mum’s dreams…LOL

  5. My two (older boy, younger girl) were and still are the best examples of polar opposites I have ever seen. I still remember the comment he made on a road trip years ago, with both of them in the back seat: “Mom, she’s looking out my window!” Thank goodness they maintained their individuality yet managed to become friends. Now at 21 and 17, they speak to each other as peers and they are both over protective of each other. Heaven help our daughter’s first real boyfriend!

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