Friday Free-For-All – Yeah thanks, way to make me feel appreciated!

Not five minutes ago I was tucking my delightful (I use that term loosely) 2-yr old son into bed. Stories are finished, I’m giving him a kiss, telling him I love him – you know the usual. Son turns to me and says “Mum…” (pause, my heart prepares to melt, I’m sure he is going to say ‘I love you too’…) “Get out.” I kid you not. My 2-yr old just told me to get out of his room so he could go to sleep. Yes, son, I love you too.

This got me thinking about all the times our kids manage to make us feel totally unappreciated. I think back to when I had a ‘real’ job (the inverted commas are for those people that have never considered any of my jobs ‘real’ jobs! You know who you are!) and I used to feel that my boss didn’t appreciate me – well step aside PK you ain’t got nothing on my kids!

My favourite moment of unappreciation (is that even a word?) was about a year ago when I was having a conversation with my then almost 4 yr old daughter. We were discussing what she wanted to be when she grew up, which was and still is one of her favourite topics (just this week her future ambitions have ranged as far as a rock star, a fisherman (don’t know where that one came from) and a policewoman).

Daughter turns to me and says: “When I grow up I am going to be a Mummy” (ohhh… nice, so you want to be just like me, my heart melts a little, but then she continues…) “But I am going to clever Mummy, not like you, I am going to have a job and be a Mummy at the same time!”

OMG my daughter thinks I am stupid because I don’t have a job?!?!

It took me a few days to convince her that once upon a time (before nappies and sleepless nights) I actually had a job, and eventually she agreed that I was in fact clever!

This is a topic that she often brings up – the fact that other people’s mothers work and hers doesn’t. It is difficult to explain to a 4-yr old (without her taking what you say and repeating to her friends – thereby offending their parents) that you have chosen to stay home from work so you can spend as much time as possible with her. I just hope that one day she can see this from my perspective and perhaps appreciate the sacrifices I have made – at least a little bit (plus realize that I am infact very clever 😉 )

Have you had any moments where your kids have left you feeling unappreciated? Would love to hear from you.

Jody Moller

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14 responses to “Friday Free-For-All – Yeah thanks, way to make me feel appreciated!

  1. Hi Jody,

    My sons have ever did the same thing 🙂 Once my older son said, ” No body love you mama” and he was laughed. Initially, I was a little bit sad, but then I realize that he was only 3 years old and I believe he didn’t mean it. I answered him, “But mama still love you, dear” And he was happy and gave me hug and kiss 🙂

    http://www.mylifeismyrainbow.wordpress.com

  2. My son tells me to leave quite regularly – started when he was about 2 as well. 🙂

    Now that he’s 4, he’s perfectly able to go to dress himself, go to the toilet on his own, wash his own hands, set the table for dinner, etc etc etc. So he regularly says, “See, Mummy, now that I’m all growed up, I don’t need you at all!”
    Yes, thank you son. That makes me feel so good about choosing to be a stay at home Mum… (Gotta love ’em, don’t ya?)

  3. Jody that’s so sad!!!! I’ve never thought that my kids would compare me to other mums because I don’t work – I thought it was just other mums that did that! I obviously have something else to look forward to… I wonder if she came up with that on her own or she overheard someone else say it???
    BTW I think you’re a bit harsh on PK – he did appreciate you Jody!!

    • I wasn’t prepared for it at all. I will be honest I shed a few tears over it. I don’t think she heard it from anyone else – I think she was just trying to make sense out of why some of her friends Mum’s work and hers doesn’t. Hope you are well…

  4. So far it’s only ‘this is yucky’ about anything I present for dinner. But she was only about a year old when she first said ”go way mummy” when I was trying to get her to have a nap.

  5. Jody, your stories made me laugh! I stayed home with my sons until they were in school, but then we lived in a neighborhood where I was one of the few moms who did work, so to my kids, I wasn’t clever enough to stay home!

    The zinger phrase for me was when I dropped my youngest off at kindergarten. I waited by the doorway for no more than thirty seconds when he looked up at me, and waving his hand dismissively, said, “You can go now.” WHA????

    Kids are wonderful–that same kid is leaving for college in three days!

    • I hope all goes well with your son heading off to college! I’m sure that will be a big day. I know daughter will be the same when she starts school next year – she will be pushing me out the door. Sadly once both my kids are both at school, I too will have to go back to work, we need the money!

  6. Yes, I can remember my daughter (not so young) telling me that I couldn’t possibly be clever because I didn’t go to university like her. Still hurts.

  7. Jody, I have been a Stay at Home Dad for the past umpteen years (since my eldest was two). Goodness, that makes it eleven years! Argh. During that time my proper job has been looking after the two boys and nurturing them into lovely young men. This is a real job but I think it has taken them some time to recognise this. My boys now look around at other kids who have been in creche/before school care/after school care/ school (basically institutions) since they were very young and now understand how much they have gained from having a fulltime parent guiding them in learning life skills. Keep telling your daughter that you are at home with her because you really care. She will get it in time and appreciate it.

    • Thanks for leaving a comment David. I feel like raising my kids is my job (and heaven knows on the odd occasion that I leave them in the care of my husband he agrees with me!) I just wish that the rest of the world could see it the same way I do! I wouldn’t change it for the world, regardless of anyones opinions, my daughter included.

  8. Why do I get the feeling that the reference to real jobs was written about me?? Ok, ok – I apologise!!! I know you had real jobs. Besides, I have now come to realise that staying at home and raising kids is probably the hardest job there is. It is sometimes easier to walk out the door and go to work!!!!

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