Writer’s Campaign Challenge #1 – The Close

Today I am finally feeling better so I decided to give the Writer’s Campaign Challenge a go. The first challenge is to write a flash fiction piece (the rules are listed below). I put this together very quickly so please excuse me any grammatical or spelling mistakes πŸ™‚

[I am #286 on the Writer’s Campaign Linky – if you like my story please click the like button!]

The Rules:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, β€œThe door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: “the door swung shut.” (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!

The Story: btw it is 200 words exactly πŸ™‚

The Close

The door swung open.

β€œYou’re supposed to knock!” She spat the words at him, every syllable tainted with venom.

β€œIt’s my god damn house.” He averted his gaze, not wanting to catch a glimpse of the hatred gleaming in her crystal blue eyes.

Once there had been affection between them, but trivial arguments had tainted their love. It started when they lost the ability to openly communicate with one another. They constructed barriers, impenetrable walls, through which conversation was impossible. The natural progression of things meant that the lies were not far behind. The final straw had been when he had spent the night with some cheap whore. He was walking, talking proof it was never a good idea to pick up at the local bar when you lived in a small town.

β€œWell?” she raised her left eyebrow questioningly.

β€œI’m just here for my stuff.”

He picked up the box from the kitchen table. She’d packed up his things, keen to remove him from her life. He felt a twinge deep inside; those mundane words couldn’t be the last he spoke to her in their home. He turned to face her.

β€œEnjoy Hell, you bitch.”

The door swung shut.

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28 responses to “Writer’s Campaign Challenge #1 – The Close

  1. Hello! I just happened to chance upon your blog and its pretty cool! I like your writing πŸ™‚ I hope to read more soon! πŸ™‚ Nice to meet you πŸ™‚ (I’m from Singapore, by the way, quite a far distance from your country, but the web is incredible!)

  2. I like that it starts out as small, sad scene capturing the death of a relationship, and you think the guy is getting nostalgic and maybe regretting what he did. And the – wham! – the funny punchline. It got a snort of laughter from me. πŸ˜€

  3. Jody I’m not very often speechless -but I am today; you did a fab job in the space of 200 words. You drew me in with a touching scene then it turned sour really quick -the tension you built up is fab. Excellent writing. πŸ™‚

  4. Jody, I absolutely LOVE this. The tension is so thick, it felt like it was crackling off the screen! This is a wonderful example of some dirty fighting, and a relationship that has definitely gone south. Amazing job!

  5. Eeep…an explosive end to a relationship. I like this entry, and the sizzling tension it evokes.

    Would like to invite you to The Rule of Three Blogfest —a month-long shared-world fiction extravaganza in October with some great prizes, and of course, a lot of exposure for your writing. The blogfest requires escalating conflict, and your writing already excels at it.

  6. You know I have to admit, the last thing he said kind of threw me. Obviously we don’t get a lot of the characters in only 200 words, but I thought you did such a good job with setting them up in the beginning, I was shocked and surprised by the last thing he said. It’s almost like he went out of character from my perspective.

    • Thanks for being honest with me – I genuinely appreciate it. It’s definately easier to just write you loved it than it is to critique. And your right character development in 200 words is tough πŸ™‚

    • Thanks for stopping by. I haven’t had much of a chance over the past two weeks to visit as many blogs as I would like – hopefully things will calm down soon and I will get around to visit everyones.

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